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Mariefrance Cote, LMFT. Therapy Marin County, CBT, Solution-focused, emotion-focused coping skills. Psychotherapy for adults, teens, and children with anxiety, depression, sleep, OCD, and school challenges. Relationship expert. The therapy approach of Mariefrance Cote, LMFT is warm, caring, and engaged.

66 things to say to your child, and your spouse.

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66 things to say to your child, and your spouse.

Mariefrance Cote

This list is circulating around social media. I like it. Of all the things we can say to our child/children in a day, using a few of those can go a long way to make our parent-child bond strong, and encourage our little ones, and not so little, to shine, authentically. But parents, don't stop at your children!! This list is also full of connection-making, validating statements for your romantic partner or spouse. When our connection with our partner is shining and we experience that feeling of bond with them, it naturally spills into our relating with our child/children; everybody is happy in the end. Yes, say lovely things to your child/children, AND create that solid family bond by putting those harmonious statements in your relating with your partner/spouse!

*I am not in agreement with #43. From an attachment perspective, our child is inherently "good". If we say they are "good" after they engage in a particular behavior, it implies that the behavior is intimately connected with our view of the child's worthiness. This statement goes together with saying to our child "bad!" when they engage in a behavior we don't approve of. When we feel our child is "good" perhaps what we are experiencing in the moment is the appreciation of the harmony that lives between us, which then, could be stated just as that with a statement such as "I appreciate you" or any of the other awesome statements in the list. Here's where the list comes from http://www.popsugar.com/moms/Positive-Things-Say-Your-Child-38418508

Here it is:

1.     I’m grateful for you.

2.     You make me proud.

3.     Your words are meaningful.

4.     You have great ideas.

5.     I love being your parent.

6.     You don’t have to be perfect to be great.

7.     Your opinions matter.

8.     You are important.

9.     You are loved.

10.   I believe you.

11.   I believe in you.

12.   This family wouldn’t be the same without you.

13.   You are valuable.

14.   You can say no.

15.   You can say yes.

16.   I know you did your best.

17.   You were right.

18.   I accept who you are.

19.   We can try your way.

20.   You are helpful.

21.   You are worth it.

22.   You make me happy.

23.    I love your creativity.

24.   Being around you is fun.

25.   I can’t wait to hear about it.

26.   Don’t be afraid to be you.

27.   You’re making a difference.

28.   I’m excited to spend time with you.

29.   You are interesting.

30.   I love seeing the world your way.

31.    It’s good to be curious.

32.   I love the way you tell stories.

33.   What you did was awesome.

34.   I admire you.

35.   That’s a great question.

36.   Your friends are lucky to have you.

37.   I trust you.

38.   That was a really good choice.

39.   Seeing you happy makes me happy.

40.   Being your parent is my favorite job.

41.   I learn new things from you every day.

42.   You make me better.

43.   You are a good boy/girl.

44.   Thank you for being you.

45.   I’m so glad you’re here.

46.   You look great.

47.   I understand you.

48.   Watching you grow up is the best.

49.   That was really brave.

50.   I forgive you.

51.   I appreciate you.

52.   We all make mistakes.

53.   Yes, me too.

54.   You are very good at that!

55.   You can try again tomorrow.

56.   Nobody is perfect.

57.   I love how you said that.

58.   Not everyone will like you, and that’s OK.

59.   You did that so well.

60.   I’m listening.

61.   That’s a very fair point.

62.   You are beautiful inside and out.

63.   I love you.

64.   I could never stop loving you.

65.   You are enough.

66.   You make my heart full.